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How to Have a Healthy Divorce

There is no easy way to prepare for a divorce. A couple that is going through the process can expect to encounter some legal roadblocks, unforeseen financial challenges, and, of course, emotional trauma. The life-altering event becomes even more difficult when children are involved.

However, it is true that a divorce is only as painful as you make it. While there are some issues you may not be able to avoid, how you deal with those issues will determine how smooth the proceedings go and how quickly you can walk away. You may find that your willingness to cooperate with your soon-to-be-ex works to your benefit and may help you in the long run.

Five Ways to Make the Divorce Process Healthier

1. Establish Your Priorities

In other words, pick your battles. Learn to distinguish between what is important and what is not important. This especially true if you want to walk away with your finances and dignity intact. So, distinguish between the negotiables and the non-negotiables and scrutinize each heavily.

2. Protect Your Children

Protecting your children from a violent or unhealthy situation needs to happen at all costs. In addition, it is your responsibility to protect your children emotionally. Your kids are more likely to handle a divorce in stride if they see you and your ex working together through the process instead of tearing each other apart. Try to minimize the drama so that your kids can handle the trauma.

3. Decide How Much You Want the Courts to Get Involved

A basic rule of thumb is this: minimize how much the courts get involved in your divorce. Every dispute that escalates is cause for a judge to step in and render a verdict. The problem is that the verdict may not go your way. In fact, it may turn out worse than you planned. You are better off working out a settlement with your ex before the judge reviews your case.

4. Get Healthy, Stay Healthy

A divorce proceeding almost always lasts longer than you want it to. It can be physically, financially, and emotionally draining. Therefore, you owe it to yourself to stay healthy. Make sure you eat right, exercise, and create balance in your life. Also, try to avoid the usual traps such as self-loathing, addiction, isolation, or inactivity. Get out more and spend time with good friends in healthy environments. You may also want to seek professional counseling during this time.

5. Don’t Go Public with Your Divorce

It’s quite possible that your soon-to-be-ex is a mean, cruel, and selfish person. They may have cheated on you. Or, they are trying to assume custody of the children and the assets unfairly. However, going public with your frustrations almost always backfires – sometimes legally. Therefore, stay off of social media and limit who you talk to. Choose your confidants wisely and avoid doing or saying anything that could hurt your case.

Working with a Divorce Lawyer in San Jose, California

There is a reason why you hired an attorney. You trust their experience, legal knowledge, and ability to represent you during mediation or in court. If you want the best outcome during the divorce proceeding, then allow your attorney to communicate and act on your behalf in all areas related to your case.

Going rogue or dismissing legal counsel can hurt your case. Therefore, you should consult your attorney when you have questions or when issues arise they need to be dealt with legally. In addition, try to limit communication with your ex. Allow your attorney to engage with your ex on your behalf.

Get the Support You Need from an Experienced Divorce Attorney

Are you going through a divorce? The Law Offices of Steven E. Springer can help you with your case. Contact our law firm today and get a free case assessment from a divorce lawyer in San Jose, California.

We also serve clients in Morgan Hill, Fremont, Hayworth, Alameda County, Santa Clara County, and Pleasanton, California.


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